Table 2 Study themes, sub-themes, number of participants, and sample quotes

Negative emotions

Types of emotions*

Stephanie, Raj, Adam, Ross, Steve, Ruth, Fatima, Sophia

8

Adam: “Um, I was very sad. It's sadness definitely. I mean almost a bit of loss because it's ending that relationship, sort of, with this band. I've been doing it since 1994”.

Steve: “My brain really starts to, like, just become more anxious”.

Feeling it in the body*

Stephanie, Raj, Adam, Ross, Steve, Ruth, Fatima, Sophia

8

Raj: “From what I remember the heart went up racing. You know feeling of anxiety. The heart was racing up like thinking of all the work I would have to do on it again, senseless work”.

Sophia: “From my body. It’s just like my head. It would be like a bit of everywhere”.

Lingering emotions

Raj, Adam, Ross, Sophia

4

Adam: “I'll beat myself up with for quite a while, you know, for the rest of the day at least and then, you know, it stays with me a bit”.

Ross: “… don't get me wrong, there's still a lot of baggage to deal with over the next couple of days…”

Reasons for emotions

External factors

Stephanie, Raj, Adam, Ross, Steve, Ruth, Fatima, Sophia

8

Steve: “… a lot of it comes down to COVID and isolation, a bit like here in my building, in my residence, there was a COVID outbreak, and it was just like everybody had to stay inside”.

Ross: “… some hurtful things towards me where it kind of implied that [my father] thinks I didn’t help out enough. And that was really difficult for me to not only hear but also to process. So, I rather lashed out at him today [saying], ‘that's completely unfair, I spent my entire day here with you doing X, Y, and Z. And now you're being rather unfair. So, I'm leaving’”

Psychological processes

Raj, Adam, Ross, Steve, Ruth, Sophia

6

Raj: “I have this stress in my head, “what's going to happen in the future?” Whether I'm going to find a tenure track position”.

Steve: “… like just trying to find some … like a lack of urgency in my life right now. I think that lack of urgency is definitely accentuated by COVID-19. There's just nothing really to work for right now”

Ways of relating to myself*

Stephanie, Raj, Adam, Ross, Steve, Ruth, Fatima, Sophia

8

Adam: “I've sort of wasted my time again. I went it through this once. I went through it again. And I'm a little like I'm older now and I shouldn't waste my time with these sorts of things. ‘Why do I do this?’”

Sophia: “And once I was over there. I found myself being angry and with a lot of impotence instead, being anxious and sad”.

Psychological needs

Behavioral, interpersonal, or self-related needs*

Stephanie, Raj, Adam, Ross, Steve, Ruth, Fatima, Sophia

8

Adam: “I needed a break from it. So, it was trying to … not just physically typing and you know being online but the thinking about it and everything else”.

Ross: “… I also need to be able to be okay with redefining those moments. I think what Ross prior to that last year in university would have defined those spark moment or the passion as might not be the same definition as the Ross today”

What meeting needs would do for me*

Stephanie, Raj, Adam, Ross, Steve, Ruth, Fatima

7

Steve: “… I could do so much better in terms of like spending half the amount of time doing my work and doing greater things in life”.

Ross: “… unlock and liberate me to redefine my passions and those spark moments”

Feelings, beliefs, and self-related reasons for not helping myself*

Stephanie, Raj, Adam, Ross, Steve, Ruth, Fatima, Sophia

8

Stephanie: “It’s taking the time to do it. It’s almost as if I’m saying like, ‘Oh, well, I’m not really worth it. This is not really worth taking the time to do, like, who cares?’”

Raj: “I don’t want to be going out every day and buying Chèvre [cheese] just to feel like that because I have many people around me who are obese and who make excuses [and say] that I am perfectly fine. I don’t need to do that”.

Reactions to emotions

Wanting emotions gone

Stephanie, Adam, Fatima

3

Stephanie: “The desire to escape more. The desire to not address my feelings. The desire to not deal with things”.

Adam: “that's why I like sleeping because it just shuts everything off, you know, I don't have to think it's just not. It's just a way of shutting down the brain”

Having mixed reactions to emotions

Ross, Ruth, Fatima

3

Ruth: “I love my job. I feel so lucky that I got this appointment. But sometimes, it's a lot. And I just wanted to leave and go back home”

Thinking a lot

Raj, Adam, Ross, Steve, Sophia

5

Ross: “Like when I’m with myself too long, my inner monologue definitely gets louder and makes me just start to critically evaluate every single thing I’m doing”.

Steve: “I think my, my inner monologue got very loud, because I wasn't talking to anybody”

Helping myself with something other than food

Behavioral ways

Raj, Adam, Ross, Steve, Ruth, Fatima, Sophia

7

Ross: “So you know you’re driving away from the driveway, waving at her, telling her ‘Hey, I love you,’ but also just saying ‘Hey, you know, I kind of want to get into my own space right now.’”

Ruth: “And it's even less prevalent ever since I quit social media. So, there's even less of a measure of comparison going on”

Interpersonal ways

Raj, Adam, Ross

3

Raj: “The first thing I thought, that came in my head after that was, ‘I need to call my brother because he will counsel me.’”

Ross: “I see a counselor that I speak to me about a couple month basis here and there. And one of the things that we've decided that I think is really important for me to work on… is being aware of what's going on in that moment, not being reactive”

Mental ways

Raj, Adam, Ross, Steve, Ruth, Sophia

6

Raj: “And I try to make myself realize each and every day that all this … this professor, this career thing that I’m doing is … it’s not going to last forever”.

Sophia: “… it’s already here. It’s happening”

Positively relating to myself

Raj, Ross, Steve, Sophia

4

Ross: “… this time around, you’re going to fight all the natural urges. You do have to really try and set yourself up for success”

Steve: “And then I went into full gear and said, okay, time to get this done, because it's due at midnight and I did get basically everything done”

Urge to eat

Reasons for wanting to eat*

Stephanie, Raj, Adam, Ross, Steve, Ruth, Fatima, Sophia

8

Stephanie: that “… there comes that, you know, desire to fill that emptiness”.

Ross: “[I thought], ‘You just worked hard the entire day, you weren’t appreciated, and then on top of that now you’re upset.’ For whatever reason, the initial response within me was ‘What is going to give you an enjoying relaxing night to go home to, get away from all that?’

Looking forward to the sensory experience

Stephanie, Raj, Adam, Ross, Ruth

5

Raj: “It tastes like chocolates, like the creamy flavor chocolate ice cream but sometimes you get the chocolate chip inside. And, yeah, it's something else”.

Ross: “But I definitely was clicking in associating with that first moment of enjoyment… of putting the product in my mouth and enjoying it, tasting it. So that is what kind of drew me to it. That's what kind of got me going”

Automatically going towards food

Raj, Steve, Ruth, Sophia

4

Raj: “I remember that when I went to Walmart, I was just saying to myself, ‘You don’t want to buy it. [My girlfriend] is also not interested in buying it. Why are you looking at it?’ Still, I went to Walmart”.

Sophia: “I truly cannot pinpoint something specific that made me just go… And I bring it right next to my table back again and it was very quick. And I was over there eating”.

Wanting convenient and specific foods

Raj, Adam, Ross, Steve, Ruth, Fatima, Sophia

7

Adam: “And it would have just been like, ‘What am I going to do tonight? I’m just going to order.’ There’s something about the convenience”.

Ross: “I can recollect now that I reflect upon it, and I knew in that moment, those Reese’s Pieces were going to be mine at one point”

Eating

Overeating

Stephanie, Adam, Ross, Steve, Ruth, Sophia

6

Stephanie: “… and then I went back in. Even though I wasn’t hungry anymore, I had another scoop. Another small scope of the lentils”.

Steve: “I'll have some nuts now I'll have somebody you know one thing leads to another”.

Positive feelings while eating *

Stephanie, Raj, Adam, Ross, Steve, Ruth, Fatima, Sophia

8

Adam: “I guess to me, and thinking about it, you know, a mom’s hug or something like that… there’s something very nurturing about it and comforting”.

Ross: “I think this unwinding. It feels like per bite you feel more and more relaxed, per bite you feel more and more unwound, per bite you feel more and more away from the stress that you’re under that day”.

Enjoying the sensory experience

Stephanie, Raj, Ross, Steve, Sophia

5

Ruth: “The only reason I’m here is because I don’t want to be doing my work, and this is like tasting good and making me feel good”.

Raj: “It feels really good. I just want to close my eyes and enjoy that taste”.

What food or eating is doing for me

Coping mechanism

Stephanie, Ruth, Sophia

3

Ruth: “So it's not like an experience is just a coping mechanism, and I can feel it at that that moment”

Rewarding myself

Ross, Ruth, Fatima

3

Fatima: “Long day at work, come back home, and then I sit down like ‘Ah. Okay, now, after I did all of that I deserve that reward.’”

How food or eating is helping me

Helping me with work

Ruth, Steve, Sophia

3

Steve: “Because something about getting some food and making a little bit of food, even if it's just a small little bit like actually can let my brain take a break”

Giving me something to do

Raj, Fatima, Sophia

3

Raj: “But, yeah, that's I think that's one of the reasons why I'm sipping on coffee again and again I don't know, just trying to keep myself busy”

Positively influencing my feelings

Raj, Adam, Ross, Steve, Fatima, Ruth

6

Raj: “I would like to have two or three days, let's say, in a month, where I can just eat and take out the stress”.

Ross: “And because of that I said to myself, ‘you know what, it's late, I don't really care right now, I'm gonna take control and I'm going to say, for me, I'm going to go have a snack.’”

Not thinking about my stressors

Raj, Adam, Ross, Steve, Ruth

5

Raj: “… giving me something else to think about, the experience of eating, the taste, the smell, everything. So, it's just less focus on that one thing”.

Ruth: “It just helps me to think about something else”

Being in the moment

Raj, Ross, Ruth, Sophia

4

Ross: “And man, you're going to have another whopping day at work tomorrow. But for right now, you here with the burger… just enjoy this”.

Sophia: “I can sit down over here but if I had my coke next to me, that would be amazing… just in the moment, having my music back and trying to write something. It will just make me feel great”